There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
