lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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