just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
