I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
