Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
