Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
