I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
