I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
