now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
