i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
