is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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