We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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