things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
