Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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