so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize