remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
