he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
