how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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