hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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