What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
