I just made out with a guy for $7.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
