I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
