I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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