Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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