you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
