He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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