Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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