Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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