The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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