He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
