Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
