Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
