You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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