you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
