he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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