The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
