i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
