shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
