WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
