Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
