What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dignity is for republicans.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
