nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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