The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Randomize
