3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have post one night stand depression
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize