yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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