That's intense
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
