Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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