Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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