an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
