I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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