We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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