return my video game
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
