So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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