You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
