I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
