Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
