the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
